Somewhere in or around our kitchen is a fire detector with a dieing battery. It beeps every couple minutes to let us know the battery needs changed, but Liz and I can't find it. It only beeps once, so it is really hard to tune in on the exact location. Maybe it is in one of the cupboards, or tapped to the bottom side of our hutch. All I know, is that it beeps, and beeps, and beeps. I think Liz and I have been a little more on edge this last week. Careful if you visit, because one false move could land you in a world of pain. On the other hand, if you happen to find it, we will most likely raise you upon our shoulders and shout acclamations to your name.
I think there is a 50-50 chance that the previous resident hid a fire detector in the wall just to play this cruel cruel joke. If that is the case, you win.
I also have one more announcement that will surely bring great sadness and anger to all of the western world. They have discontinued Wal-Mart Chicken! We could hardly begin to imagine the ramifications of such an event. The downfall of our society has begun, the end is near. Soon McDonalds will decide to no longer sell burgers, and switch to all fish sandwiches instead. Pizza Hut will become a wing place. And Pepsi will reduce its product line to only Crystal Pepsi.
Perhaps you don't know what I mean by Wal-Mart Chicken. I'm talking about those amazing little boneless BBQ chicken pieces thought brought such delight to my pallet. They are sold in the deli area, and you paid by the pound. Often in college, my roommates would venture over to get a pound each for dinner. I kid you not, there were many a time that I would waste 40 minutes of my lunch break just to drive to a Wal-Mart and back. And people caught on in my area, because there were many days I would drive all the way over to find an empty container where the chicken once resided. I had to start taking an earlier lunch break to beat the crowd I would even pass by a chic-fil-a on my way, they were that good.
But now they are gone, and I am left empty. All is lost.