K is for Kicking with Excitement

Boondock Saints 2 All Saints Day is premiering this Friday. Though I am very concerned that the sequel will fail miserably in comparison to the 1st one, I am also extremely excited. As far as I can tell, it will not be played in my area, so my friends and I are going to have to drive to Philadelphia either for a midnight showing on Thursday night, or Friday evening sometime.

I know what you are thinking. That is a lot of time in money just for a movie, but I don’t adhere to the famous adage “a penny saved is worth 2 in the bush.” You know what I really need for a trip like this? Some rope. “Charlie Bronson’s always got rope…he’s got rope strapped around em in the movies and they always end up using it…You don’t know what you’re gonna need it for, they just always need it.”

J is for Jack-O’-Lantern

It has been much too long since I have posted. For a while, it was due to my busy schedule, but for the last week I have just been waiting until the right time. That time is of course directly after carving my pumpkin for Halloween this year. Could there be a better use for the letter J? I submit that there can not!

2 years ago, I decided to get into pumpkin carving. My first 2 attempts were very successful as I found patterns online that looked good but weren’t too challenging. This year I was torn between a few ideas and decided to make up my own pattern incorporating a number of designs. I think it turned out very well. Liz also carved a great looking pumpkin, but the pumpkin was unfortunately rotting and cracked a bit at the end. It will not survive the week, but we got a few pictures of it to remember its greatness. I tried to take pictures along the way to show its progression. Here are a few of those pictures for your enjoyment.

I is for…. I

I am tired
I am frustrated
I am beat down
I am angered
I wish I could re-do the last 2 weeks
I am behind
I dislike other opinions
I hate drama
I know I am right
I know they are wrong
I want more time
I am glad I’m a child or God or else
I would cry and feel the false weight of my state


I am writing this entry on a train on my way back from Philadelphia. I arranged a meeting to discuss an insurance matter. It was somewhat exciting to arrange a meeting myself where I had to bring people in from Philly, Harrisburg, Chicago, and Atlanta. I set the agenda and tried to lead the meeting. This meeting included people with titles like partner, treasurer, director, and CFO. Despite the excitement of this meeting, I don’t think it went very well. It went as expected I suppose, but I wish it would have gone better. We are arguing over business forecasts with our insurance company for a claim that could bring in as much as $5.5 million for our company. So far they only want to give us $2.5. 2.5 is a nice chunk of change, don’t get me wrong, but their arguments for giving us less just make me want to slap someone in the face with a glove and challenge them to a duel.
“Here’s something that… if you don’t want your dad to think you are a silly f***, don’t hit another man in the face with a glove. Because if you do, that is exactly what he will think. Unless you are a nobleman, or something out of the 18th century.”

If you have never seen the movie “The Weatherman” I recommend you go see it. Try to ignore the profanity and just enjoy the excellent subtle humor.

Anyway, as you can tell I am a little frustrated and angered about the results of the meeting. But why am I so tired you may ask? Because it is Thursday and I have already worked a total of 46 hours, most of which was some of the most stressful work I have ever had to do. I had people getting very upset looking for number and results right that instant. Running multiple scenarios and what-if analyses across Excel models that span over 50+ tabs is not an easy task. You would think that running numbers through a model would not be a stressful event, after all, they are just numbers. But the pressure would surprise you. Hours of changes and need to be made to the model in a matter of 20 mins. The information is needed that soon because we have a call in 20 mins to the CEO. He wants a group of changes to be made in the following 20 mins so he can have a call with our lenders where the numbers will be used to help them to decide whether or not to liquidate our business. I could go on, but it just gets depressing. I am really tired and just need a good break, but instead I need to go in early tomorrow to prepare for another all day meeting with a different group of people. Yikes. I can not wait until the weekend. Get some rest, hang out with some family, and get some good father and son time in with Wes. To follow all of that up, I am taking my motorcycle license test on Sunday. Then I can hit the open rode and celebrate freedom and realize why I do all of this crazy work.

Thanks for reading.

H is for Hummus

As per reader request… H is for Hummus. I was intrigued by this challenge of suggested writing topics. This was especially true of hummus as I had never actually tried hummus before. I thought this might be a challenge since I would have to go somewhere to buy some or try to make it myself. As it turned out, I was invited to a dinner party where hummus was served as an appetizer. I am very fortunate to have a boss who is Greek and loves to have guests and make ridiculously good food. The hummus was ridiculously garlicy and was served with pita bread. With Ali in mind, I dove right in. To my surprise, the hummus was actually quite tasty. I might even try it again sometime. Probably won’t make it, but if someone else does, I won’t avoid it like I have in the past.

Thank you for your suggestion and challenging me to expand my horizons.

G is for Great

Do you want to know why G is for Great? It is because I wrote a freaking Great poem in my last post. I put quite a bit of time into it and like it a little more every time I read it. If you haven’t read it, you should right now. If you have, you should re-read it and enjoy its awesomeness.

Why else is G for Great? Because I think it is great how ridiculous people can be sometimes. There are some out there that take everything they do so seriously that it becomes funny. Of course I have an example to back this up…

A few days a go I received a subpoena at work requesting information for a workers comp claim. I have never directly received a subpoena, so I read the whole thing over to fully understand exactly what was needed. Reading legal language can be surprising challenging. I think they write in a specific way to make people so confused that they give up on trying to understand the document and just sign.

So I start reading though the main page wish starts in Latin at the top “Subpoena Duces Tecum.” I figured the lawyers are just trying to sound smart by using other languages, but literally translated means “bring with you under penalty of punishment.” Clearly they don’t want to just write that at the top, so they use the Latin. Either way, you can tell this document is meant to intimidate you to get something done. There isn’t a lot more to the document, just names, addresses, and such followed by “YOU ARE HERBY REQUIRED” in all caps to provide some information. Here is where it gets good. Many letters have the body of the letter followed by a closing or sign-off like “sincerely, john.” The writers of this subpoena went with the closing of “fail not at your peril.”

I looked at that, was a little shocked, and then nearly fell at of my chair laughing. This is a great example of taking things a bit too seriously. Apparently they felt that this request for information was so important that it required a threat or curse of some kind. I shared this humorous line with some of my co-workers, and asked around to get the data as soon as possible since I was concerned that I would meet my peril. I don’t know if my failure meant that someone was going to come looking for me to mess me up, or the brakes of my car were going to mysteriously go out while I was on the highway. Either way I didn’t want to find out.

Admittedly, there may be some use for this statement in daily life. Perhaps if I start using it in conversation, things will get done faster. I could write an email: Mark, please send me the total sales figures for last month. Fail not at your peril. –Zack. I have a feeling I would be getting those sales figures pretty quickly. Maybe in a text: Hey Justin, do you want to hang out tonight? Fail not at your peril. Something tells me that Justin’s schedule would clear right up.

Honestly though, what are these people thinking?

Thanks for reading.

Far From Flying

Are you a little surprised and excited that I was able to jam 3 words that start with F into this post? You really should be.

I’m sorry I have to do this, but I have decided to “Keith-out” in this blog post and write a poem (that’s right my friend, I just used your name as a verb). I wrote this out pretty quickly, but then spent some time to make it rhyme. I fear that compromised the integrity of the poem and my point by doing this, but there is a strong flawed part of me that thinks all poems should rhyme. Well here we go, I hope you enjoy.


On long summer days stuck at work
I am often lost in reflection
Not on projects or politics or finances
But on the life moving past my vision

There are busy bees moving between buildings
Delivering a message or going to a meeting
They seem too determined for something so trivial
I wonder if they ever consider their meaning

They file into the parking lot at the stroke of 8
Their reliability no one denies
Many park quickly and scurry off
But some take more than 3 tries

I assume they are just bad drivers
Trying so dearly to get in the lines
But perhaps they are greatly concerned
On perfection regardless of time

I find this an interesting judge of character
And presume this is how they live their lives
I think it a waste of time, but how can I judge
I’m just sitting here watching them drive

I shake the thoughts and go back to work
After all I’m not paid to stare
But then I think of living differently
Like my meticulous friends out there

To take the time to do things right
Would instill in me more passion
I could be a better worker / lover / father
For caring more is just good fashion

Coming to work I listen to the news
And hear about all the terrible topics
I take fleeting interest, but soon forget
Lock the doors and drop the keys in my pocket

I think passion would make me better at life
But would I care more about mankind
There is likely nothing I could do to help
I fear stress and worry is all I would find

My mind defaults to what all men think
What if I were a super hero
Passion of course would come naturally
As I fight to drive crime down to zero

I would be strong, fast, and daring
And you know I am able to fly
I would be adored by all across the globe
The glory would be such a high

But is this responsibility too much pressure
Would life really be that great
I’d feel the weight of every failure
And hate every time I needed a break

Perhaps I am being foolish
Of course flying would be sublime
I dream about flight for a few more minutes
Then try to get back to my daily grind

Those people outside are doing what they should
And I should do the same
Isn’t that what life is all about
Follow the rules so no one can blame

The busy bees go where they are told
Bad drivers scare us all
Reporters deliver terrible news
And perfectionists are on the ball

I know I will never be a superhero
It’s my design, there’s no sense lying
I focus back on my computer and accept
That I am far from flying

E is for Engine

…and W is for Without. Bad news on my car people. It is missing a critical component.


A little belt snapped, and everything went downhill. The value of my car… my savings. YIKES. After much debate over scrapping the car or fixing it and arguing with the dealership I got it from, I have decided to keep it alive and fix it. So I had to purchase a new engine and the garage is putting it back in as I type.

It is quite a shame, but I guess that is life.

That is all.