I am Tired, Hear me Yawn

I am tired. I am tired of being tired. Have you ever arbitrarily typed in words into the address bar to see what comes up? I do that on occasion, but it often doesn’t lead anywhere. For the longest time there was no website for http://www.www.com/, I thought that was a major oversight, but now someone is using it to sell domain names. The same goes for http://www.web.com/. Recently, on one of my many tired days, I typed in http://www.tired.com/. When you do this, a simple blank white page comes up and a line of text shows “Are you tired? Tell us why? The “us” in that statement is a link that opens a blank email addressed to tired@tired.com. I was rather confused by this and searched it on Google. Apparently, someone bought this domain for his company, but didn’t get around to using it. Since he hadn’t yet used it, he put up that simple text, and linked it to an email address. He got an email within a few seconds, and 100’s of emails daily since. He had not taken into account how many fools like me would randomly type “tired” into the address bar. I have not yet emailed him, but apparently he gets tons of emails from people in the middle of the night that can’t sleep, sleep depraved students and mothers, and a ton of other people that are tired of something in their life or of our society. It is very fascinating. These people do not know where the email is going, or if it would be made public or even be read, but they send it away anyway. I think there is something to be learned about our psyche by that. It seems a lot of people don’t have anyone to talk seriously to, so they send their frustrations, or sins to a complete stranger, or make anonymous confessions on Post Secret.

The point is… I don’t have to send arbitrary emails to some address; I have a blog where I can post my complaints. HaHa, it is funny because it is true. I have been tired for a little over a year. Sure I have moments of energy and what not, but generally lethargic for some time now. I think it is because I don’t sleep well which has partially been confirmed by Liz who was on a different schedule than me for a while and realized that I wake up often throughout the night. I know I’ve done some weird sleep walking on occasion the past few months because I normally remember those episodes when I wake up. But Liz discovered that throughout the night I shoot out of bed, look around confusingly, say something brief, and then go back to bed. I had no idea this was happening, but Liz said that it happens and it is pretty startling, but also funny. I guess that explains my daily fatigue.

I’m not sure why I felt obliged to share this with the world, but I did, and you can’t unread it. So HAH! Other than being tired, life has been busy lately. Liz got a part time job with Curves, I am playing hockey again, we are getting more active with our church, half of the unmarried people I know are getting married this year, and I have had a few job interviews. Like I said, busy times. It is going pretty well though. The job search has been exciting lately. In fact, I have an interview tomorrow that seems very interesting and promising. I might just be able to get away from Parente before they suck all of my soul out of me. On the other hand, I have gone trough a series of performance reviews and goal setting meetings recently that I feel guilty about doing at the same time as applying for other positions. Planning my career future at Parente with my boss at the same time as planning my own career future feels so fake. Oh well, such is the way of life I suppose. That is all I have for now. I hope to post some more about my busy life and all of these weddings going on soon. And hopefully next time I post, I’ll have some good news. Until then:

Thanks for reading.

A Solution!

Good day to you readers. I know it has been a solid three weeks since my last post, but in my defense, I had a two week vacation in which I hardly looked at a computer. Now that I am back to my regular routine, I am inclined to tell you what I have been up to for the past few weeks…. But nay! I have a much more thought provoking subject on my mind.

Last night I was watching the movie Serendipity with my wife. I confess, I like that movie, and I’ve seen it a few times. I’m sorry if that upsets you, but it is funny, has a few good lines, and it is a general feel good kind of movie. That is beside the point. One of the supporting characters writes the obituaries for the NY Times and has a great line, “you know, the Greek’s didn’t write obituaries. They only asked one question after a man died; did he have passion?” I did some research this morning and it seems that this Greek tradition is completely made up by Hollywood, however, it is still a thought provoking line. If I were to die today, people would gather around my coffin and ask if I had passion. The answer would be a simple no, and the attendees would just walk away.

Perhaps I made that a little too dramatic, but the idea behind it is both true and profound. Passion is the solution to the problem stated on the information pane of this website: how to stop surviving and start living. Allow me to add some support to this hypothesis. Here is a quote by Claude A. Helvetius, a French Philosopher from the 1700’s: “Every man without passion has within him no principle of action, nor motive of act.” And another from John Boorman, a British film maker popular in the 30’s.

What is passion? It is surely the becoming of a person. Are we not, for most of our lives, marking time? Most of our being is at rest, unlived. In passion, the body and the spirit seek expression outside of self. Passion is all that is other from self. Sex is only interesting when it releases passion. The more extreme and the more expressed that passion is, the more unbearable does life seem without it. It reminds us that if passion dies or is denied, we are partly dead and that soon, come what may, we will be wholly so.

In order to LIVE life, a person ought to have PASSION. It is as simple as that. A task done without passion has no “motive of act,” and enough of those tasks stacked on top of each other is a life of “marking time” where the person is “partly dead.” You need to have passion for what you are doing in life to make it enjoyable. Work or school without passion is boring and miserable. People need hobbies in their personal life so they have something to be passionate about. And love without passion leaves couples fighting over petty things and going through the motions. A life led by passion (for the right things) is exciting, often overflowing with joy, passes time quickly, and is attractive to others. Think of any famous person in the history of the world, if they are famous for something they have done and not done to them, I guarantee they all share the common bond of passion. Looking back on my closest friends from high school and still good friends today, most of them were very passionate people. That is why we had so much fun together. We were so intense and so alive that life was exciting and we enjoyed every moment together. I also think of my good friend Keith Becker who I think to be a very passionate person. Though he has seen some very challenging times, I can assuredly say that his life is a life of excitement. I am confident that the hard times he has experienced recently will be followed by extremely joyous times ahead due to his passion.

To wrap up, this necessary passion for life is not made up of passing moments, but consistent fervor for everything you invest your time into. Scripture even states God’s view of the importance of consistent passion in one of my favorite verses. “Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Romans 12:11. Oh how I lack zeal in both by personal life and in my spiritual life. This is not merely a suggested means to enjoy life, it is a command by God. Lacking in zeal will not only harm your personal life, it will spoil your spiritual growth and will lead us to the lukewarm churches whose fate is discussed in Revelations. Readers, I beseech you; have passion.

Now that I know the solution to my problem, I must figure out the means to gain passion. Good luck to you as well.