When requested to do a post on Scientology, I of course had to brush up on my knowledge. I went where any logical person would go to learn about such matters… South Park. The Season 9 Episode 12 titled “Trapped in the Closet” actually tells the story fairly well. There was quite a bit of controversy that came from this episode, and though some of the church leaders deny the story as being true, many people who were with the church for years and left came out in agreement. I thought about embedding some videos for you to watch, but I wasn’t sure how many people would actually watch it. You can find the full episode online. I’ll touch on the basics that are absolutely true about scientology and the controversial doctrine.
Buckle up. Scientologist believe that negative emotions are caused by something called body thetans. The founder, L. Ron Hubbard, discovered this and developed a way for the thetans to be removed so people can find happiness. For a nominal fee (a few hundred bucks) people can use a machine to remove the thetans. This fee is of course nominal as you are buying your happiness. You can see where people would buy into this. They want to figure out why they are unhappy and in this “church” they tell you directly and provide an easy way to make your life better. As you spend more time in the church, and contribute more money, you earn higher levels of membership. At a certain level you finally find out what thetans are and where they came from.
This is the doctrine revealed in South Park that caused the controversy. South Park did not change the story at all because they felt it was so ridiculous as is that it didn’t need to be altered. L. Ron Hubbard was a science fiction writer who came up with the doctrine. This explains where thetans come from:
It all began 75 million years ago. Back then there was a galactic federation of planets which was ruled over by the evil Lord Xenu. Xenu thought his galaxy was overpopulated, and so he rounded up countless aliens from all different planets, and then had those aliens frozen. The frozen alien bodies were loaded onto Xenu's galactic cruisers, which looked like DC-8s, except with rocket engines. The cruisers then took the frozen alien bodies to our planet, to Earth, and dumped them into the volcanoes of Hawaii. The aliens were no longer frozen, they were dead. The souls of those aliens, however, lived on, and all floated up towards the sky. But the evil Lord Xenu had prepared for this. Xenu didn't want their souls to return! And so he built giant soul-catchers in the sky! The souls were taken to a huge soul brain-washing facility, which Xenu had ALSO built on Earth. There the souls were forced to watch days of brainwashing material [Egyptian gods, Jesus carrying the Cross, and a bronze Buddha statue are shown] which tricked them into believing a false reality. Xenu then released the alien souls, which roamed the earth aimlessly in a fog of confusion. At the dawn of man, the souls finally found bodies which they can grab onto. They attached themselves to all mankind, which still to this day causes all our fears, our confusions, and our problems.
It sounds completely absurd to me that anyone would stay with the church after finding this out. However, if you’ve spent many years in a church and get far enough involved, I guess it is logical that you would believe just about anything the people in authority told you. I did find this video that shows some clips from the show mirrored with recordings from L. Ron.
Enjoy, and thanks for reading.
Julia's Valentine Box
9 years ago
4 comments:
I love that episode of South Park. My favorite part is where they're explaining Xenu and the spaceships and all that crap and there's a title card at the bottom reading something like, "This is what Scientologists actually believe." Brilliant.
I know this post is from a week ago, but I am bored so I figured I'd respond. Also I'm hoping maybe it'll spur you to post more because I like reading.
The thing that strikes a nerve with me about Scientology is not actually what they believe, but the fees that go along with the religion. It seems to me to be a classic bait-and-switch scheme, where people are sucked in, and once they are "enlightened" to the fact that Scientology provides something they desperately need, they are then informed that it will cost them hundreds of dollars. That's the kind of thing that got even Jesus to flip out.
The beliefs? Honestly, say Christianity didn't exist, and someone came to me today and said that they had seen a dude in Central Park healing the sick, walking on water, and then he died and came back to life? And then on top of that, they told me that I couldn't see it for myself, I just had to trust them. I would probably tell even my closest friends that either they were duped or they needed to check into a mental help facility.
All I'm saying is that it seems to me that at face value, we Christians believe some stuff that from a logical standpoint is just as insane as scientology. But then, this is why I constantly struggle with faith.
Zack, I really enjoyed this post. I have always wondered what the Scientologists believe and this was a good primer for me.
I also looked at the clip in your link. Who knew South Park was an educational show?
This is Justin D, just for the record. That episode is hilarious. Keith makes a good point about how 'unbelievable' Christianity must sound to someone hearing it for the first time. I guess the difference to me is that the teachings, the miracles and the life of Christ were documented by more than even the authors of the Gospels. Christianity does involve a certain degree of 'blind faith,' but I think it takes MORE faith to believe the writings of an obviously insane science fiction author.
Plus, I believe everything South Park tells me... no matter what.
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