Somewhere in or around our kitchen is a fire detector with a dieing battery. It beeps every couple minutes to let us know the battery needs changed, but Liz and I can't find it. It only beeps once, so it is really hard to tune in on the exact location. Maybe it is in one of the cupboards, or tapped to the bottom side of our hutch. All I know, is that it beeps, and beeps, and beeps. I think Liz and I have been a little more on edge this last week. Careful if you visit, because one false move could land you in a world of pain. On the other hand, if you happen to find it, we will most likely raise you upon our shoulders and shout acclamations to your name.
I think there is a 50-50 chance that the previous resident hid a fire detector in the wall just to play this cruel cruel joke. If that is the case, you win.
I also have one more announcement that will surely bring great sadness and anger to all of the western world. They have discontinued Wal-Mart Chicken! We could hardly begin to imagine the ramifications of such an event. The downfall of our society has begun, the end is near. Soon McDonalds will decide to no longer sell burgers, and switch to all fish sandwiches instead. Pizza Hut will become a wing place. And Pepsi will reduce its product line to only Crystal Pepsi.
Perhaps you don't know what I mean by Wal-Mart Chicken. I'm talking about those amazing little boneless BBQ chicken pieces thought brought such delight to my pallet. They are sold in the deli area, and you paid by the pound. Often in college, my roommates would venture over to get a pound each for dinner. I kid you not, there were many a time that I would waste 40 minutes of my lunch break just to drive to a Wal-Mart and back. And people caught on in my area, because there were many days I would drive all the way over to find an empty container where the chicken once resided. I had to start taking an earlier lunch break to beat the crowd I would even pass by a chic-fil-a on my way, they were that good.
But now they are gone, and I am left empty. All is lost.
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4 years ago
2 comments:
I've got a lot to comment on this post!
1) No walmart chicken?! yikes! That stuff is good! oh well, at least I have Giant Eagle, which I like a lot too.
2) did you check behind your fridge and stove for the alarm? I've never seen your house, so I'm just throwing out ideas. If you also have a microwave/range above your stove AND there's a cupboard above that, check in there. Or if the tops of your cupboards aren't closed in...
3) I'd be ok with McD's not making burgers anymore. I think they're gross.
4) do they still make Crystal Pepsi? I'd be shocked if they did. I thought that was gone years ago.
Here's something I have learned about smoke detector alarms: they throw out some sort of funky signal that makes it impossible to tell where it's coming from. And I mean to say that this smoke detector could be in your garage or attic or three houses down the street. This just recently happened at my parents' house and from the beeping Jen and I swore that the detector was in the landing to the basement. After much fruitless searching we finally found it had fallen into the trash and was in a trash bag by the front door, about 15 feet away. It's madness. I don't know why the Army hasn't harnessed this technology to use in psychological warfare. Maybe it's in violation of the Geneva Convention... I don't know. I fear you may have to move to a new house.
Also, I know nothing of Wal-Mart chicken, but I'm not surprised in the least that Wal-Mart has broken your heart. You're not the first and you won't be the last. They're evil!
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