Twenty Three Syndrome

Today is the eve of my twenty-third birthday. 23 appears to be one of those ages that really has no more meaning than another year of life. Nearly every other birthday I’ve experienced had some significance. Normally another year meant I was allowed to do something new, given more responsibility, or I was classified in a different age group. When I turned 21 I could drink, at 22 I was no longer classified as a 21 year old running around misusing alcohol. Have you ever noticed that people are generally considered an adult after 18 except the age of 21? When you are 21, you are a “twenty one year old.” At 23, you are simply older than you were before.

There is, however, something significant about the age of 23. It appears to me that it is a challenging and messed up long year. This is an observation from my life and some popular songs. I’ve discoverd a number of songs where the character of the song is 23. Some are about love which I don’t feel the need to look into, but 4 songs stood out to me. The most obvious is Blink 182’s “What’s my Age Again?” Simply put, nobody likes it when you’re 23. People expect you to start taking responsibility, but you still want to be an adolescent making dumb decisions and having fun. Eminem wrote the song “Guilty Conscience” where the character of the song is fed up with his life and decides to hold up a liquor store. At 23, it seems that one will realize how boring and crappy life can be and want to make rash decisions to make a change or prevent life from becoming dull. Similarly, Coolio in “Gangster’s Paradise” took a “look at his life and realized there’s nothing left”… “I’m 23 now but will I live to see 24, the way things are going I don’t know.” Finally, Incubus has “Pardon Me.” This is my favorite of the four and I think it necessary to include the lyrics.

A decade ago,

I never thought I would be,

at twenty-three,

on the verge of spontaneous combustion. -Woe-is-me.-

But I guess that it comes with the territory,

An ominous landscape of never-ending calamity.

I need you to hear, I need you to see

that I have had all I can take

and exploding seems like a DEFINITE possibility... to me.

So pardon me while I burst

into flames.

I've had enough of the world

and its people's mindless games.

So pardon me while I burn

and rise above the flame.
Pardon me, pardon me...I'll never be the same!

I find those lyrics stunning! Though these songs have some major differences, they all have one central theme. The characters are at a major transition in life that they find unappealing and want to fight against it. Things are not what they hoped to be and they want to act like an idiot, do something radical and crazy, or simply combust and get away. What happens in our society that would cause a person at that age to feel this way? They have graduated college and have spent 8 months or so working. I feel that most people are generally excited about starting a career and contributing to society. The beginning of a new job can be a lot of fun. You are getting a pay check, you are learning and contributing and you are thinking about moving out on your own and looking toward the future. This is all very exciting until 5 or 6 months in when you hit a wall.

If you are like me, from middle school on you have had new transitions every 3-4 months. You start school, hit Christmas, and your classes change around. A few months of that and you hit the summer where you get to have some fun and possibly get a full time temporary job. About 3 months of that, and just when you are starting to get tired of it, you realize you have but a couple weeks left until you can quit and start some new classes at school. This is even more obvious when you hit college and change where you live every few months. It is an exciting life, but it causes some problems when you hit the real world. After a few months of 8 hours a day five days a week work, you start to get tired of it. Normally, that isn’t a big deal because you will be quitting soon and going back to school, but not now… It just keeps going. A couple months later, you start to feel the way the song writers are talking about. Crap! I’m an adult and I’m doing something that isn’t very fun and I’m going to be doing it day in and day out for the next 40 years. When this really hits you, you start reacting outwardly. You will try to be the person you used to be and act immaturely, but you never get that back and it annoys other people. That doesn’t work, so you try to change your life drastically by doing something crazy. You rob a store, you blow some stuff up, or you buy something extravagant that you shouldn’t buy. This temporarily helps, but soon you will feel the same way you did before. These things have failed and you start to get really sad and hate life. All you want to do is get away, possibly spontaneously combust, either way, you question if you will ever see 24.

Since tomorrow is my 23rd birthday, you may wonder how it is that I know these things. Do I expect these things to happen to me? No. In all reality, they already have. I have labeled the cause of this 23 syndrome to be college graduation and starting a career. I graduated a semester early in order to get a jump start on my career. The jump start caused me to experience the symptoms of 23 syndrome at the age of 22. Though I am turning 23 tomorrow, I feel that I am turning 24, which consequently happens to be my favorite number. Here is my simple advice for any of those out there experiencing the symptoms of 23 syndrome: Stop hating life and complaining about it, accept the person you are, where God has strategically placed you for His glory, and turn 24. I expect this next year of my life to be less rash and a bit happier.

Good luck to you and have a Merry Christmas.

Some Things You Ought to Know

Greetings my friends. My mind has been scattered today with a plethora of thoughts and I felt the need to express them. I have spent some time recently reviewing my life and my blog posts and decided there are some things that need to be said and some things that the reader may be quasi interested to find out. For instance, I enjoy using the word quasi whenever possible, which may be quasi weird, but I do not care.

Number 1: the majority of my blog has been rather dismal and I apologize for that. I never used to be a gloomy person, but after a year of being in the real world with “suck the life out of me” kind of job, my thoughts have become cheerless to say the least. That needs to stop. I’ve had the revelation that I’ve been taking life a bit too seriously lately and that is something I never used to do. Though my responsibilities force me to step up my seriousness, I took it to a level that no person took take their life. I’m going to try to cool down my outlook on my life and what is important. The most important way for me to do that is to have a more eternal focus, which leads me to my next item.

Number 2: I have hardly made any mention of the Lord and his role in my life. I am shameful for this fact. I’ve become so serious, so wrapped up in my job and corporate world, so focused on life that I haven’t taken a step back to realize that life here doesn’t matter very much. This world and my life are wasting away and it is merely a springboard to the perfect existence I am going to experience in the presence of my maker. First, that is gong to help me live life the way I should be living, and second, I need to be talking more about God on my blog since he should be my guide to everything I do. I fear that someone I don’t know may read parts of this page and feel bad for me for my misery which would not Glorify God. As John Piper claims, I must be satisfied with my life that God will be most glorified in me, this should shine through in my writing.

Number 3: My office decided to do a gift exchange where a Santa is assigned to each day of December to buy something small for everyone in the office. I’ve got some pretty sweet gifts thus far including today’s gift of a FREAKING HUGE Disney pencil. Part of this plan was to decorate our cubicles and hang a stocking to put all of the gifts in. Since I always have to be different, I decorated for Festivus. I have a 2.5 foot aluminum pole, and Happy Festivus sign with the tag line “A Festivus for the Rest of Us,” two 6 inch wrestling guys with a sign in front of them for the Feats of Strength, and a list on the front of my cube for the Airing of Grievances. I am quite proud of my work; however, nobody really got the joke. Even the people who quote Seinfeld on occasion didn’t get the joke. I am disappointed in them, but also feel very lame every time I have to explain it to someone that stops by and asks “what are the little fighter guys for?” The only real good that came out of it is that the wrestlers who are named Mitch and Johnny often end up in weird positions in the night for my discovery in the morning.

Number 4: Liz and I have found ourselves hooked on “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.” I downloaded (yes I download TV shows and Movies online, sorry) every episode and we have been watching at least 2 a night. Before proceeding, I must declare that this show is absolutely appalling. It is by far the most sinful and morally wrong show I have ever seen which is an immense statement considering I have seen every episode of Seinfeld and South Park. Honestly, combine those shows together and put them on crack, and you have “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.” Now that I have cleared myself of any liability since this show is so incredibly awful, it is absolutely hysterical. I love it! There are few people I would recommend it to and I mostly feel disgusting at myself for watching it, but in the end, it has been a great experience and I want more. I am just starting off the third season, and look forward to what is ahead, though I must say that the first season was better than the second. In case you decide to start watching it on your own, I must tag on an additional warning. This show has the possibility of affecting the way you speak to people you care about. Honestly, Liz and I have never spoken to each other with such rudeness, anger, and sarcasm in the history of our relationship. It is all fun and games between us and normally ends in wrestling and loving, but if we were ever to speak this way in public to each other, people would be lining up to give us marital counseling and pour holy water on us.

Number 5: Since I am on a streak of confessions, I feel the need to discuss this. Michael Vick was just sentence to a jail term for his dog fighting fiasco. I’ve heard many people discussing how terrible of a person he is and they can not comprehend a human can be so cruel. In fact, just today my office was discussing this horrible person and how he should be locked up for a long long time and how he must have some serious psychological issues. *GASP* …. I don’t think it is that bad. I know, for shame, for shame. I am such a monster! Chase me to the tower with your pitch forks and burn me alive. But in all honesty, if presented with the opportunity to watch, I would not turn my head. I had a friend with a Parana in college and I always wanted to watch it feed, I like movies where there is a one on one battle, and I have always been fascinated with cock fights and wanted to witness one, and since the moment I found out that a beta fish would kill another beta fish when put in the same tank, I’ve wanted to rush out and get me 2 beta fish. I am curious to see an animal fight another animal. I know it is wrong and I certainly look down on the way the animals are treated when not fighting, but I would probably watch Mike Vick’s terrorizing event and cheer for the winner. I apologize if I have offended you in any way, but it is the truth.

Thank you for reading.

Where I can I Sign?

I had a rough day the day after my last blog post. I was in a bad mood which was contrary to the feelings I had expressed in my blog post causing the “Nevermind” post. I’ve rebounded from that day, so nevermind the nevermind, well… at least most of the nevermind.

This post is not to discuss the meaning of the nevermind, because out of the nevermind, a comment was born. This specific commenter whom apparently does not speak our native tongue has a very tempting offer for me. After translating the Portuguese comment into English I began reading with great delight as I discovered this “person” really likes my blog. I must say, it means a lot to me that others are reading it and finding it interesting. Immediately following this wonderful statement of blog enjoyment, the commenter got down to business. As I can interpret from the broken translation, there is an internet service that will give me lightning speeds over dial up. I began to loose interest at this point since I have upgraded to the ever faster broadband internet access, but alas! This offer is also profitable for those with Broadband. Well then sign me up! The expense in addition to a telephone is apparently quite small while the benefit is very great. I could not be happier about this possibility! Thank you commenter. Furthermore, this offer is good in over 2100 Brazilian cities, which I can tell you is a relief for low cost internet access for my many vacation homes in Brazil. I could not be happier about this opportunity. Where can I sign good commenter? Where?

...

Nevermind.

Where Have I Been?

Alright blog world, it is time you and me have a show down. I know that my many devoted readers are starting to go through serious mental ailments over my lack of posting, and for that, I apologize. I have been a bit busy lately, but that is no excuse. This here post is going to entail an update to my life in case the reader is interested in what is going on.

I’ll start with the least fun topic: work. My job has been rather interesting for the last few weeks. As I have not enjoyed my job in the past, I have been focused on the goal of applying for 2 jobs a week. I kept that up for 4 weeks, but died in weeks 5 and 6. In total, I have applied for 9 jobs in the last 6 weeks, and haven’t really heard back from any of them. All but one of the jobs is the type of position I would love to have and I think I would be really good at, the problem is, I have very little experience in that field. I know I should make a few phone calls to follow up on the jobs, but I haven’t found the time or the guts to actually follow through with that thought. The one position that I wouldn’t necessarily love to have is in the same field I work in now, but pays more and would be working privately for a company instead of consulting. It would be an improvement, but I would still be doing financial analysis and staring at a computer all day. About 2 weeks ago in my current job I had a goals and performance meeting with 2 of the managers in the office. This meeting did not go very well. They are impressed to no end at my Excel skills, but they feel I am not engaging myself well enough into the business. Part of this is their fault because they keep giving me crappy assignments and passing me around, and part is my fault because I am not seeking out better work and stronger work relationships. We laid out a plan to improve this problem and they tagged the plan with a line of expectations of engagement improvement over the next few months or else the next conversation with them will not go as well… i.e. time to hit the road. Before discussing a plan to move forward, I was asked the very challenging question of “where do you see yourself in the future, not in the next 5 years, but by the end of next year.” YIKES! This was followed by a much harder question of whether or not I want to be doing this kind of work with these people. These questions were asked of me 4 weeks into my “apply for 2 jobs a week” goal! I couldn’t lie to them and say “I really want to be doing this and want to dedicate myself to improve,” but I certainly couldn’t tell them “I see myself living in Maryland with a recreation management job far removed from healthcare consulting.” I gave them a really lame answer of “I have good days and bad days,” and moved on with the conversation. Following this meeting, they have greatly improved their efforts of getting me good work and keeping me involved. They even assigned a mentor to me that I am talking to on a daily basis to get through projects and she has set apart specific time to teach me about the industry and how things function. I am now in a touchy situation: I really like the woman I am working with and her projects and tutoring make this job much better, but at the same time I still feel like I should move on and find a job I truly enjoy. I’m not sure what exactly I’m going to do, but in the meantime, I have been working much harder and showing them I want to do this work, while still taking some time to apply for other jobs.

In my personal life, things are moving along decently. I was really starting to get down on myself for a couple of weeks over being tired all the time and not liking my job, but that was interrupted by playing hooky for a day in the middle of the week to spend some quality time with Liz. We had such a great day and I realized that life can be pretty sweet sometimes when you take a break and just enjoy everything around you. I really feel that this day was a turning point in my year to get me back on track. Since then, things are going fairly well. I can’t say that I haven’t had bad moments, but I know things are better. Thanksgiving went well staying home with my family. I know it was hard on Liz not to spend the holiday with her family, but I was thankful to just be home and not have to travel. Liz didn’t complain too much about being with my family and I think she mostly had a good time. The day after Thanksgiving, we went out and got our first Bogaczyk Family Christmas Tree and bought a bunch of decorations for the house. We had a great time cutting down the tree and getting everything set up, and our house simply looks like a cozy happy house. Additionally, Liz and I bought a bunch of candy and built ourselves some gingerbread houses while watching a Christmas movie. Our house looks nice and smells like frosting everyday when I get home.

To summarize, life has been interesting the past few weeks. I’m not sure what lies ahead, but for now I’ll be working a little harder and counting the remaining 2.5 weeks of work I have left before a full 2 week Christmas Vacation. I’ll try to get some pictures up here soon of our beautifully decorated house. Until next time my friends.

A Heated Quarrel Among Friends

Greetings readers. I felt the need to lighten the aura of this blog, and therefore decided to post this story. The following story is completely true. The names have not been changed because no participants are innocent. As a brief introduction, you should know that the college I attended often had game nights and activities where “sexual paraphernalia” was given away as prizes. I personally think it is terrible to do so, they are not promoting safe sex, they are only promoting lots of sex. Anyway, the dorm I was staying in had a casino night and gave away such prizes, but I chose to play a bit because I like casinos. It is also important to note that at the end of the events described below, my good friend Bill Reese was fake crying to our RA and asked to have the events written up to teach the other participants a lesson. The RA was too lazy and said Bill could write it up himself. Bill, Matt Anspach, and I wrote the following citation and it went through the same process any other citation would go through. The Resident Director had to sign off on it, and it was even discussed at a Director’s meeting with all the RA’s on campus. Enjoy:

The dilemma at hand involves resident Matt Anspach, resident William Reese, and resident Zack Bogaczyk. Upon returning from a rousing session of “Condom Casino” resident Bogaczyk took it upon himself to apply some of the sexual lubricant he had won to resident Anspach’s door knob. Resident Bogaczyk left for some time, meanwhile, resident Anspach returned to find his recently lubricated door knob. In a fit of rage, he banged on resident Reese’s door in suspicion that he was the guilty party, then discovered the truth and decided to make his dreadful revenge on resident Bogaczyk’s door with some of the sexual lubricant he won while playing condom casino. When resident Bogaczyk returned to his dormitory, he was less than pleased to soon find his hand dripping with tropical punch flavored sexual lubricant. Despite the mild discomfort of his lubed hand, he skipped washing his hand and walked down to resident Anspach’s dormitory to confront him in an unpleasant conversation. The two engaged in a distasteful quarrel that lasted for quite some time. The quarrel consisted of many threats involving the notion of resident Bogaczyk rigging a Dixie cup filled with sexual lubricant over resident Anspach’s door. As the quarrel heated up into an all out squabble, many other residents came into the hallway to find out what was going on. Among these residents was resident Reese who had some of his own words to add to the conversation. The argument reached catastrophic heights as Residents Bogaczyk and Reese threatened the life of resident Anspach by way of drowning in sexual lubricant.

Upon the conclusion of the squabble, resident Bogaczyk decided to take a shower to cool down his fury. Meanwhile resident Anspach, fueled by his resentment, decided to “get even” with resident Bogaczyk for his senseless threats. He then filled a bucket with cold water and Gatorade powder and entered the shower section of the bathroom to throw it on to resident Bogaczyk. He actually pitched the Gatorade concoction on resident Bogaczyk twice, nay, thrice times. Not only did this make resident Bogaczyk’s blood boil with rage, he was taking a very warm shower, and was suddenly consumed by cold liquid. This caused resident Bogaczyk to be very concerned with his health. Though the simpleminded prank may have caused some good laughs on the throwers mind, it was at the expense of resident Bogaczyk who now stood exposed in a shower stall as other residents gazed and cackled at his naked blue Smurf-like body. Resident Reese stood only as a witness to this malicious act, though he wanted to stop resident Anspach, he was too controlled by the peer pressure to do anything about it. The residents had a little more than 25 minutes to cool their anger as resident Bogaczyk was rigorously trying to wash his skin back to its normal color. Resident Bogaczyk then returned to his dormitory to put on some shorts and take some time to reflect on the happenings of the evening.

Resident Reese then entered to comfort resident Bogaczyk after his public mortification. Meanwhile, resident Anspach deviously conspired with resident Austin Kerstetter to enter the dormitories of residents Bogaczyk and Reese to steal their winnings from Condom Casino in order to prevent the residents from getting their revenge the next morning with the vast supply of remaining sexual lubricant. Residents Bogaczyk and Reese were startled by the ruckus of resident Anspach sprinting down the hallway with the contraband consisting of 36 condoms of various flavors, a multitude of sexual lubricants and an assortment of delectable candy. Resident Bogaczyk was now exasperated after the squabble, the public mortification, and the pilfering of the contraband. Resident Reese returned to his dormitory, while resident Bogaczyk tried to devise a plan to get even with the schemers.

Resident Bogaczyk decided to take immediate action, and made a sign that pronounced “a plague on both your houses” to hang on resident Anspach’s door. He also dangled a condom by some dental floss in front of the door. Resident Anspach heard the activities going on in the outer surface his dormitory, and exited to confront resident Bogaczyk. Resident Reese also sauntered down the hall to partake in the newly developing skirmish. During this skirmish (which took place at 10:03 pm) resident Anspach threatened the lives of residents Reese and Bogaczyk. He claimed that he would “murder” them and “throw them out the window.” This distressed residents Reese and Bogaczyk to the point of looking for chancellors to aid in the matter. It was at that time that resident assistant David Daku entered the hall and took control of the situation. He suggested that the residents go into his dormitory to discuss the matter. He calmed the situation, and suggested that violence and revenge is not the answer to their troubles, and that the residents just sleep it off.

Though it is uncertain that this is the first time a situation such as this has occurred from a mindless session of Condom Casino, it is assured that this will not be the last. It’s undoubtedly apparent that the repercussions of this evening will echo through William North Hall for years to come. It is important, nay, essential that Lock Haven University revises its dormitory rules to include the banning of the senseless distribution of elicit sexual paraphernalia such as condoms and flavored sexual lubricants. Residents Reese, Anspach, and Bogaczyk believe that the implication of this rule is imperative for the prevention of such an outlandish situation from occurring again.

Regain Consciousness

The past two weeks have been fairly uneventful and left me with little to talk about, however Liz insists that I make posts, so I’ll see what I can do.

I was going to make a post at the end of last week when I was close to mental breakdown, but I spent about an hour of my work day thinking about what to title it, so I decided not to write at all. I must say that life is going fairly well lately. I am surviving as smooth as ever, but it got to me last week. My job disdain sometimes takes me to nearly epic lethargy. The best part of my day is getting home for work, I know I have to whole evening ahead of me and can forget about work. If I have nothing planned, or I’m too tired to do anything, I just sit around and get grumpy. As time passes by I realize it is getting closer to bed time which means that I am getting too close to having to wake up and go back to work. Sometimes I get so tired, but don’t want to go to bed because it simply means I have given up on that day and would rather sleep and go to work. I stay up too late for the only reason of trying to postpone work. Last week I had one of these nights and woke up so tired that I just didn’t care at all to go to work. I didn’t care about my job and certainly not the projects I was involved in. I slept in much too late, but didn’t rush to make up for it. I moved as slowly as I could because I was so lethargic. This of course was annoying to Liz because though she also dislikes her job, she at least makes an effort to be on time. She was annoyed and I was lethargic, and there was no happiness in the Bogaczyk household.

Liz had to leave a few minutes early that day, so I said bye to her and just sat down on the couch and starred at the wall for nearly 20 minutes. Since I was already late for work, I figured I should try to do something productive, so I read a few pages of a book that I’ve been reading. I strolled into work about 45 mins late, did very little in the morning and took over a 1.5 hour lunch break. To be honest, I could have been fired that day and didn’t care. However, what may be even worse, no one noticed at all.

I am dull + I am not noticeable + I am bored + I don’t care + I am surprisingly overweight = I am surviving life... Barely.

THIS IS NOT ME!

Relient K has a song on their MMHMM album titled “Who I Am Hates Who I’ve Been.” This is a simple song about repenting of past misdeeds and declaring to never become that way again. I wish I were in that state, however I am plagued by a much more complex issue: Who I’ve BEEN Hates Who I AM.

I’m not completely sure what has happened in my life to bring me to this state. It certainly isn’t married life because Liz is just about the only stable thing that brings me a breath of life. I survive the rest of my time when I’m not with her and try my best to not have the survival mentality overflow into my time with her, but I normally fail at that. I am mostly convinced that it is my job, but it is probably something deeper than that. Liz had an epiphany a couple weeks ago and told me that my relationship with Christ has declined severely and that separation may be causing me to feel this way. Since then I am glad to say that God has blessed me with consistent daily devotionals. I am joyful for that time and it helps a bit, but it still didn’t hit the nail on the head. I thought I would feel better if I got back in shape. I’ve been running at least 4 times a week for the past 2 months and the only difference is that I have physical pain on top of my mental anguish.

I am at a loss. I’m not sure what to do to get back to the guy I used to be. I miss me, I can tell others miss me, and I know Liz misses me too. I hope that it is my job sucking life out of me. I did just apply for a few new positions that I would be enormously happy to get. My greatest worry is that I get one of those jobs and I still feel like I am only surviving life. Then I will really feel lost. Either way, I need to change something that will hopefully solve the problem and help me to regain consciousness.

Football… ness

I have been in need of a new post the last few days, and as it seems this is the time of year to make posts related to football, I figured I would do that. Keith has some sort of goofy Eagles fan and Sean has pictures from a Steelers game including a sweet picture of him and Troy Aikman, so yesterday I decided to post of picture of me at a football game. Making the mistake of thinking I had any kind of photo editing skills, I tried to add a picture of me into a football huddle where I would make some funny remark about an invitation to join them on the field. It turned out horribly bad. Seriously, I would have stood a better chance of running naked into a NFL game and taking a snap shot with the players than actually making it seem that I was in any way a part of the picture. By the end of work yesterday, I gave up. Since I have no pictures to add, you only get a simple text. Go my favorite football team!! Beat the other teams…. Soundly!

To completely change subjects, last weekend Liz and I went to the PA Renaissance Faire. It was very good, and I highly recommend anyone reading this to attend. There are only 2 weeks left of the faire, so get to it. Go this weekend, you won’t be disappointed! I have absolutely gained a greater appreciation for the faire than the last time I went. The actors did a good job of keeping character through the entire day. There are a number of good shows to watch, bands playing, good food, and a lot of the shop keepers stay in character also. You really have a sense of walking into another world, and all of the employees do a great job of loosening up the crowd to make them feel comfortable to talk like them, cheer, and maybe even dance a little bit. I also really appreciate a place in today’s society where people are allowed to speak mostly the way the want to, carry around weapons to fit into character, and enjoy beer and wine. It seems like it would be a security nightmare, but everyone was just having a lot of fun, and no one was rude or out of control. Since the faire is winding down for the year, the actors are really comfortable working with each other, so they put on a good show and also joke around with each other a lot to get the other to break character, which leads to some really funny moments. If you are looking for something to do the next few weeks, get to the Ren Faire, you will be glad you did.

Thanks for reading. God save ye!

Gibberish

I am in the mood to write a post, but do not know what to write about. I shall therefore write about a variety of random topics that will probably amount to very little.

First of all, I had a great time hanging out with Keith, Tobin, Pat, and Alex last weekend in West Chester. We didn’t have set plans for the weekend which caused a lot of time of sitting around with the wonderfully deep discussion of “what do you want to do,” but it was still fun. Keith and I ended up finding some enjoyable activities. We even played some tennis which was good exercise and competition. I also got to spend Saturday night and Sunday with an old college friend, James Kipp. He is a good kid, that one, and it was nice to catch up. We got some dinner, I tried to set him up with our waitress, we hit some golf balls, went to church together (which I really enjoyed their service), and watched The 300 while having some pizza and our memorable college snack of Doritos and Jalapeño Cheddar Dip.

Work this week has been mostly unproductive. I’ve done a lot less than I could have. I am simply unmotivated and apathetic toward my work. I don’t care to go in the morning and I’m normally a bit late, I take long lunches and only sometimes make up for that lost time. I don’t know what to do to get motivated and take pride in my work. It might help to have some more deadlines, but my work is very open ended at the moment.

Outside of work, this week has been busy. It was Liz’s birthday on Thursday so we had a family birthday celebration on Tuesday and had a crazy day on Thursday to give her a gift, play a hockey game, go out to dinner, shop a little bit, and watch The Office. Because of all this, I am very tired and less motivated to do work today, but it was all worth it. I had a great time and I think Liz enjoyed her birthday. I decided to get Liz a bicycle that is a hybrid on/off road bike. I miss the days when I was in good biking shape and rode around everywhere. I hope we can ride a little bit this fall, and maybe get back to solid biking next year.

Side note, I want to be funny in my blog. I need to figure out things to write about or ways to write things that will make the reader laugh. If I don’t do that, these posts are going to get pretty boring talking about my life and all. If I have some thought provoking discussions, insights into my mind and life, and humor, then I will simply have “all things that are good.” Perhaps even inspire the reader to drink some Bailey’s. It is smooth, creamy, beige.

Lastly, I’ve been giving some more thought to this whole Sabbath thing. I’ve been reading scripture and online articles and Liz and I had a bible study on it. Here are my thoughts. God intended the Sabbath to be set apart for himself, as a day of physical rest, but more importantly a day that man sets aside to focus on the Lord. Our thoughts, conversations, and actions on that day should be pointed to God and not to ourselves, which is actually quite challenging when you really think about it. God also intended the Sabbath to be a specific day, so man can not set his own Sabbath on whatever day is convenient for his self. Man should not work on that specific day unless it is necessary or they are working for the church. It is therefore my opinion that Priests work on the Sabbath as called by God to do so. They can certainly set a separate day in the week for physical rest as anyone can, but that day is not their Sabbath because God intended it for a specific day. It is also my opinion that professional athletes who play on the Sabbath are sinning in doing so. I know that is hard, but it is truth. Christ told us that we have to turn from our sinful ways and leave friends, family, and jobs if need be, to follow him. Christian professional athletes are justifying sin for the good of their careers, and I don’t think there is any way to deny that. My only remaining question about the Sabbath is whether it is on Saturday or Sunday. The Old Testament is clear about it being on Saturday, and I don’t see where in the New Testament it changes. I know Christ rose on Sunday, and some people in the early church worshipped on Sunday, but I think they also worshipped on Saturday because it is still the Sabbath. What are your thoughts? Hit me with them? I wanted to be blunt in this statement, so feel free to be blunt right back and tell me that I am mistaken.

Thanks for reading.

Careers... Who need them?

It is finally time to share some information about my career decisions. Since this job mostly sucks life out of me, I have been considering what career I would find to be fulfilling. It has been my dream for some time to open a large scale recreational facility and sports complex. Before I can do that, I should try to manage a similar facility, before I can do that, I need other management experience. My solution was to apply for Brunswick Bowling to be a general manager of a bowling center. Since I have bowling center experience, I thought this might work out. I’ve been having phone conversations with HR people and Regional Managers for the last 2 weeks. Alas, on Monday I had an interview in Baltimore with a Regional Manager and GM of a specific center. I nailed the interview, and it seems that Zackery is on his way to managing a bowling center! Or not. At the end of the interview, we were discussing the normal schedule of a bowling center GM. As many of you may know, a bowling alley is open 365 days a year. The problem with this fact…. Sundays. I told the interviewer that I may have a problem working Sundays and asked if that would be an issue. I would only have to work 1 Sunday a month, but it is corporate policy that every GM work 1 Sunday a month. NNNNNNNOOOOOOOO! The interview ended and he left me to think about whether I could work Sundays or not.

I immediately called Liz after the interview and told her to potential problem and discuss. One of the things I love about my wife is her ability to be blunt when she knows the truth about something. Some times it is a little harsh, but to get things through my thick skull, people need to be harsh. Instead saying to me “what do you think about having to work on the Sabbath” or gently slaying “it might not be a good idea” Liz went straight to “No, you can’t work there.” OUCH! It was hard, and I wanted to fight it, but alas, she is right, I shouldn’t work there. It took me 20-30 mins to calm down and think about it, but in the end, despite having higher pay and the hope of a job that I enjoy, God commands us to rest on the 7th day. To be honest, it felt like a burden at first, like I am being held back by God’s law, but he knows what is best, and it is obvious that I am not suited to work at a bowling alley. I’m thankful for my wife that won’t allow me to justify sin, I am confident that it will be better for me in my current position or somewhere else, I just have to figure out what that is.

Here is my biggest dilemma. Most recreational and entertainment facilities are open on Sundays. In today’s society, it is hard not to since a lot of family entertainment business is done on Sunday. What does that mean for my dream? Must I find a new dream because the nature of the industry? Or can I find companies along that path that won’t be open on Sundays. Another question: even if they don’t require me to work on Sundays, is it wrong to work for a company that demands other people to work on Sundays (ruling out industries that require Sunday work like dairy farms and hospitals)? I want some feedback on this one.

Wheewww!

Just when you thought I was going to become a blogger, bam! No posts for nearly 2 weeks, and what a crazy 2 weeks it has been. Work was madness last week. Tuesday and Wednesday included an 11 hour work day and a 13 hour work day. The majority of this work involved pulling data out of files and verifying that it was recorded correctly. Very, very boring. The only fun parts were seeing how much money people have saved up at the end of their lives and working with some fun people from my office that made doing this mindless job fairly entertaining. By the end of the second day, we were so tired and going mad from staring at these files that we were laughing at anything the other people said. It was like staying up really late, only it was early evening and we were losing our minds. It was a good time despite the long hours. In the middle of all of this madness, the hard drive of my computer completely crashed. It just stopped working, I turned off the computer and it never came back. I lost all the work I did on Tuesday, and had to spend time talking to IT people and arranging meetings to get a new computer and have it updated to all of my settings. Once the job was finished and I re-did all the work that I did on Tuesday, I had the fun task of finding out what other work I lost that I didn’t save to our network directory and catching up to where I was before the crash. It took until today to finally get everything caught up. In the meantime, I have 2 major projects I’m working on right now, and I can honestly say that I am busy at work, no more boredom for the moment.

In the middle of those long days, I found myself staying at a really nice hotel near West Chester. After a succulent dinner on the company bill at Outback, I was able to give my good friend Keith Becker a call to hang out. To my complete delight, he came a calling with Pat Brown and Rich Howell along side. I literally skipped with glee across the parking lot to meet my long lost friends whom I haven’t seen in a few months. Though there visit was fairly short, it was really great to see them all. I had so much to tell them about my life, that I didn’t really get a chance to ask about their’s. To compensate, I have decided to spend the next weekend at West Chester to spend some more time with them. In fact, I might spend the following weekend their also. Liz is going to be out of town both weekends with her friends allowing me some quality guy time. Gitty-up!

A Dream Worth 5 to 10

After a long post yesterday about my boring life, I feel the need to write about something more entertaining to keep the reader’s interest. I have a number of topics in mind, but I will only choose one for now. I need to pace my self a little bit with these blog posts.

Question: Have you ever realistically killed a person in a dream?

In reflecting on the memorable dreams in my life, people have been killed, but normally not by my hand. I’m only a witness to something bad happening, and not actually causing the death. There have been times I have slain in my dreams, but it is normally like a PG-13 action movie where you know the person died, but don’t really see any details.

My wife and I have been reading the book “Eragon” together. It has been an enjoyable activity, especially since I have never read a fiction book longer than a standard Goosebumps. I was reading to her before bed while we were camping in Ricketts Glen last weekend. In the chapter I was reading, Eragon was given a sword, and it was described in detail. Later that night, the sword appeared in my dream.

My companion and I are in some kind of Chinese Den when the enemy suddenly burst into our potion to engage in battle. There are ninjas and what not, and again, standard PG-13 action. When the fighting is over, the evil master walks in accompanied by this brute fellow that has obviously been trained to smash people since he was a boy. I find a quick exit, as I know I do not want to mess with this guy. He pursues me, and to my amazement, he is lightning fast! I have my sword, but it will probably stand no match to his hammer and shield. He is right on my heels and I realize that I am not going to get away. I decide to run backwards to continue my get away while fighting him off (ridiculous, I know). My feeble jabs of the sword are no match for his speed and the strength of his shield. In fact, the arrogant prick is laughing at me while we battle, for he knows as well as I that I am no match for him. Thankfully, two men appear who also have shields. They run into the street to assist me in battle. I duck to the side as the brute plows through the first guy like a linebacker charging through the defense. When he gets to the second guy, he knocks him over, but trips in the process. I am standing next to them with my sword and I’m about to run away when I realize he would probably catch me again, so I strike. This is not PG-13. It is as real as I could possibly imagine killing a man with a sword would be. I stab him in the back, just below the shoulder blades. I feel resistance from his skin and fat as the blade creates an indent in his back just before piecing. As I run him through, the blade moves easier than I expected, you can tell that it is well sharpened. The tip exits through his upper chest and even catches a bit of his chin. I leave the sword in, take a step back, and wake up.

There hasn’t been a day since that the feeling of killing that man hasn’t passed through my mind. I don’t expect to ever kill something with a sword, but if the event were to occur, I suspect that it would feel similar to that.

Have you ever had such a realistic moment in a dream of killing a person? Did the memory of that stay with you? Have you actually murdered a person with a sword? Does the feeling of running that person through stay with you?

Another Day of Surviving

The day I made my last post, I had only worked a small portion of my day and spent the rest participating in such thrilling events as playing with a ball and staring at a wall. It was sad to know that it wasn’t my most unproductive day, for it was merely foreshadowing today. For today, I…. Have…. Done…. NOTHING.

Let me back up a step and explain a simple truth about my job as a consultant. All of my time is spent working for other companies. I don’t make anything to sell to customers, I provide a service to clients. This service takes time out of my day and therefore it is best to charge these clients money for every hour I spend working to provide the service they require. Simply put, I sell my time to other companies. What does this mean? Time is very important! I must keep track of every minute of my day, so I know which minutes to charge to which clients. The more time I spend working for clients, the more money my company makes. Guess what??? Posting in my blog is not considered chargeable time, but that is a sacrifice I am willing to make.

I keep a daily calendar next to me to keep track of my chargeable time which must be posted at the end of everyday. Today, my page is blank. I have had nothing to do, and can’t think of anything to do. I am back to playing with a ball and starring at the wall. I have also read some scripture and posted in my blog. I guess the day hasn’t been completely wasted. As you can see, I am clearly a bored man.

Question: What do you do when you have 8 hours of nothing to do, but are confined to a 3 walled cubical? People often walk by, so I can’t get away with playing a game.

For a while I filled my time creating really cool spreadsheets to keep track of things in my life such as my running times, personal finances, and poker statistics. I also created a sheet that counts down the years, months, days, hours, minutes, and seconds from now to a specific time in the future. It also counts up in the same way from a moment in the past. I enjoy plugging in the minute of my birth and watching my life tick away. That may seem a bit melancholy, but it is a visual representation of what my work life does to me. Sometimes it inspires me.

Why do I feel that I am merely surviving life? The simple answer is because days like today when I watch my life tick away because I have nothing to do at work. That certainly isn’t living life! To make the answer more complex and more justifiable, even when I have work to do, it is in no way fulfilling. Why is it not fulfilling??
1. Since I am always working for other companies, I feel no sense of dedication to my own.
2. I never complete an entire project, but work on a portion of it, so I feel little satisfaction in seeing a project completed.
3. I mostly work off of templates leaving little project creativity.
4. I do some crappy jobs that people above me pass off because they don’t want to do it.

Since I am not fulfilled in my job, I have little motivation to do my job. Most of the time, I do just enough work to get by without getting fired, this is reminiscent of my days of school. This is also the #1 reason why I am surviving life and not living life. It is clear that I need a solution to this. The good news is, I may have found one! Details of that will be provided in the next couple days.

The First

This being my first post, I'm inclined to post information about me and why I have decided to create a blog and more importantly, why you should read my blog. I would love to see people reading this, but let's face it, who am I? Why would you want to waste a portion of your day to read about this guy? I hope because you too are bored and have nothing better to do. I don't need to put stuff about me, you can just read my profile that I just updated and that will make up my first post. It is just after 5:00 which means I can get out of here. In the last 8 hours of work, I did about 1.5 hours of actual work, created a blog, stared at a wall, and played with a ball. It wasn't my most productive day, but as shameful as it may be, it wasn't my least productive day. I hope to make a more legitimate post in the next few days, but for now, I'm going home to my wife.